According to Mayo Clinic, the “terrible twos” are a very normal stage in a toddler’s development that usually encompasses mood changes, temper tantrums, and lots of “no”s! The terrible two stage usually happens when toddlers begin to wrestle with desiring their independence and also having to rely on adults.

For many parents, this stage is very difficult to navigate.

Let’s flash back to 1998 when my precious Tyler Jane was two years old. We had driven to visit my parents in Virginia for a couple days. My girls woke up early that morning and we scurried to the kitchen for breakfast. Erica sat at the table and Tyler sat in her high chair as they waited patiently for their cereal.

Once breakfast was served, 2 year old Tyler decided that she didn’t want to eat her breakfast.

However, the rules were breakfast first and then playtime, which Tyler was fully aware of.

After restating that rule a few times, Tyler looked me dead in the face, grabbed her bowl, and proceeded to dump the entire bowl of cereal on the floor.

I removed the tray from the high chair, picked Tyler up, and then brought her to the guest bedroom where Jerry and I were staying in.

Two words: TIME OUT.

Of course, she cried for a little bit as most toddlers would in this situation.

Maybe a minute or two pass and the sound of Tyler crying had stopped. I assumed she had fallen back to sleep.

I was wrong.

After about 10 minutes of silence, I opened the door to check on her and I couldn’t believe my eyes! Tyler had taken my deodorant stick out of my luggage and went to town. Deodorant was everywhere, due to the fact that she used it like a toothbrush and the room was her canvas. Covered white with deodorant were the walls, carpet, luggage, bed, and Tyler!

Irate wasn’t even the word.

Albeit, she wows two and being terrible, but it is important to note that this doesn’t make her a terrible two year-old.

Two year-olds have a lot to navigate in their little lives.

Over the years I spent raising my children, I overheard many groups of moms that refer to their children as ‘terrible’. Most times, thee women would speak this way directly in front of their children.

An important tidbit to remember is that if you are going to refer to your child as ‘terrible’, you are inherently granting them permission and encouragement to act terribly.

You are also giving others the permission to refer to your child as terrible. Wouldn’t you be offended if someone called your child terrible? No brainer!

Join Doulas of the Valley (in Arizona) in boycotting the terrible two’s.