The infant adoption landscape in the US is evolving. It has actually become more difficult to adopt a newborn than it was several decades ago. Why, you ask?

Well, consider this – less than half a percentage point of the babies born in the US each year are put up for adoption. For every infant placed in adoption, more than 100 adoptive families are already waiting in line.

If you’re a family looking to adopt, take heart. You just have to be patient, and you’ll eventually get the chance to be matched with a child for your family.

However, you might also be apprehensive at the fact that you have to take care of a child, especially if you’ve never had a child before. After all, raising a child to be physically, mentally, and emotionally well is very much a challenge. Where should you start?

If you have all these questions in mind, then this article is for you. Keep on reading to find out how an adoption journey goes, as well as how a doula can help you in raising your adopted child.

Why do people adopt?

There are plenty of reasons why people adopt.

For example, there are parents looking to adopt an infant for their own because they may be unable to conceive a biological child of their own. They would love to have a child be part of their families. 

Some mothers or families that have biological children also consider adoption to provide a loving family for babies or children in the adoption or foster care system. Other moms or families who are well-off look to adopt so they can provide for a child with limited resources or an emotionally nurturing family environment.

Adoption is also helpful for moms who do not have the resources to raise their children in good environments. The adoption system helps ensure that children have the chance to grow up to have better quality lives.

Adoption is more than just a legal process.

Adoption is more than just selecting a child for adoption and signing some papers. It is a delicate transition process for the infant from the birth mother to the adoptive mother that requires awareness, sensitivity, and support. Studies show that post-adoption depression affects 1 in 7 moms.

Even after making a decision to place her baby for adoption, a birth mom may go through a tough time with the baby’s birth. The thought of eventually relinquishing parental rights over their newborn may add to the anguish of a birth mother. There may be feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and low self-worth because of their decision.

Adoptive mothers go through a different “birthing” experience, as a spectator to the arrival of their newborn. Adoptive mothers also do not have the luxury of time to prepare as their newborn can arrive in as short as three months.

And when their newborn arrives, the postpartum period may bring about mood and anxiety challenges to birth mothers. The long wait for an infant to become available for adoption may also cause chronic stress for adoptive mothers. Even the excitement of the arrival of the newborn will not shake off the stress caused by the long wait.

But as we mentioned above, adoptive mothers (and even mothers who put up their children for adoption) do not have to go through things alone. That’s where an adoption doula can come in.

How an adoption doula can help mothers

In the adoption process, the role of a doula to provide informational, emotional and physical support and presence takes on more significance. With a birth mother and an adoptive mother involved, an adoption doula looks out for both their welfare and well-being, along with the newborn.

Adoption doulas such as those we have in our roster at Doulas of the Valley can help both birth and adoptive mothers through the emotional support that they provide in the adoption process. 

Here are some ways our doulas can help:

Assist birth mothers in giving birth.

Doulas can provide physical, emotional, and informational support to birth mothers to ensure the delivery of a healthy infant. This is the goal not just of the birth mother but also of the adoptive mother.

Upon delivery, a doula can stay with the birth mother to offer emotional care and support in a difficult period of separation. This emotional steadiness will also help make the baby’s transition to the adoptive mother go smoothly.

Help adoptive mothers or parents prepare for the arrival of their newborn.

The services of an adoption doula are often sought by the adoptive mother to give them the extra support they may need. Emotions can swing wildly or suddenly in the adoption journey. One of our doulas can provide that calm presence and emotional firmness in a period of emotional transition.

Prior to and upon the arrival of the adopted child, the adoptive mother and the doula can already discuss postpartum skills that the new mother will need to take care of the newborn. She can teach the mother the basics of caring for the newborn to help prepare for motherhood, such as:

•  Giving the mom a crash course on bottle feeding
•  Teaching newborn care, soothing, and comforting techniques
•  Showing how to make babies sleep longer if needed

Help mothers prepare home, hearts, and lives.

For new moms, the arrival of their newborn can be an intense experience. A doula’s calm presence during this intense period in their lives will help as these new moms prepare their homes for the arrival of the babies.

Our doulas can do things like:

• Recommend products for the baby 
• Care for other children present in the house so that new moms can bond with the adopted baby
• Do some light housekeeping like preparing meals for the family and run errands so that the house is still in tiptop shape despite the mom’s attention being mostly on the new arrival

If you are looking to adopt, Doulas of the Valley’s adoption doulas can help you.

Becoming a parent is one of life’s greatest rewards and enduring challenges at the same time. The experience for moms and parents-to-be gets more complicated if it involves adoption.

Whether you are a birth mom or an adoptive mom, you will need all the help that you can get. Doulas of the Valley’s adoption doulas have the expertise and experience to see you through one of the most deeply personal life experiences you will have as a mom. Rest assured that our team offers non-judgmental support to moms and parents at both ends of the adoption process.

As you go through this particular personal experience, Doulas of the Valley’s pool of experienced, skilled, trained, and sensitive doulas know what it takes to be there for you. You can call on them anytime, and lean on them when you need care and comfort throughout the adoption process.

Contact us today and let us be part of your very exciting journey as an adoptive mother. We are confident that with our adoption doulas’ experience, training, and sensitivity, your “birthing” experience as an adoptive mother will be a positive and rewarding one.

We guarantee it.